Didn’t you see all these traits before getting yourself into such commitment’? Is the general question they are asked. Some will say, ‘I didn’t see any of it’ while others will say, ‘I thought I could change him or her.
In marriage, there are various character, behavior, trait
that your spouse would exhibit that you never thought they could, most times
they are things you dislike but other times, and they are good ones. No matter
how long a couple must have dated before marriage, it’s not enough to know everything about that person and when he
or she displays such character, they say stuffs like ‘ I thought I’ve knew you so well, because we dated
for long, but now, it’s like am living with a stranger’.
One constant thing in life is change.
We humans also change
and these change could be influenced by certain factors like people we
associate with, situations surrounding us and the likes. So you can’t say you truly know a person. In some cases, people tend to
hide their true character just to get what they want. For instance, there was a
lady who was engaged and was well known by the family of the guy, but due to
her dad and rude behavior, the guys family told him to discontinue with the
relationship, of which he told her the reason for his actions. Her next
relationship she got smarter and decided to hide her true self by pretending to
be nice. They got married, but few months later, she started exhibiting all the
rude character she had been hiding, and the man was shocked and confused. 'Is this the woman I actually dated, all
nice, humble and calm lady?' He asked. Now he is stuck with this lady for the
rest of his life because marriage is not something one can jump in today and
jump out tomorrow especially in this part of the world, he has to live with it.
There is another scenario of living with someone who has
mastered a bad habit from childhood. Maybe, there are some things you don’t like, and your spouse is actually doing them, you have
talked and talked and have called to a family member to complain about the
issue, and all they say is ‘don’t mind her,
she has been doing it right from when she was a child, when I tell her that she
will carry it to her husband’s house if she doesn’t stop it, she’ll say, God
forbid, I can never do it in my husband house. So there is nothing we can do
about it, just endure, she’s still your wife’. Your spouse may have certain traits you dislike, it could
be pilling of dirty plates, forgetting to flush the toilet after use, throwing
their clothes carelessly in the room, prefers hanging out and comes home late
most times, nags a lot, you can name it. The best thing to do is adjust and
adapt to the situation you find yourself because this is someone you will be
spending the rest of your life with. Just love them for who they are and live
with whatever character they put up.
By Blessing Etukudoh
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